Writing in Sepia Tone

I told someone in a conversation today that I wish I could write more. In hindsight, I know I say this a lot, but I never really end up writing that much. Writing for me has always been that little hobby that I pick up every now and then.

My best writing usually comes out of these situations, when I sit down with a fresh set of ideas to write on and just get to actually writing.

I am usually a motivated person when it comes to something I am passionate about, but I have yet to find the motivation to do some serious writing. I’ve given much thought to publishing a book one day about the struggles I have faced over the past few years, but the inner critic in me tells me that no one really cares; not enough to spend several hours on pouring through a book.

That inner critic is largely the reason why I have found it so hard to write these days. My backspace key gets a lot of workout when I am writing, as I am constantly going back over what I said and changing things, or deleting whole paragraphs all together. This is one of the biggest reasons why I went to writing more in my journal with a pen, because it’s not like I can go back and change what I said. Better to leave things how they are.

There’s a friend of mine whose writing I really admire. When she writes, you feel like she is painting a picture with words, or each letter is forming a small part of a big musical ensemble. It’s funny that I wrote that, because I often think of writing as a piece of art, just as much as music or visual arts such as painting and drawing.

My writing feels more like something I would say were I in a conversation. This is different from my writer friend. She does not communicate in person with the same voice that she does when she writes.

My writing may seem boring to some people, but I feel like its got character to it. Much like there is an art to a sepia tone photograph, I think there still some art to be found in my own writing. When you look at a sepia tone photo, you definitely notice the lack of color in the photo, but you also notice the artistic style, and how there is still plenty of meaning to be found in that plain-color photograph. Same with black and white; though it’s devoid of all color, it still has a story to tell. It’s still trying to express something.

Though sometimes I feel inadequate when I read some of the things my friends are writing, I still come to eventually appreciate what I am writing, because it is my voice, and its unique. I may never be talented enough to immerse people in the subject I am writing about, but I can at least be honest, and give people a good insight into what goes on in my own weird mind.

In the end, I think that will work out for the best.