Lifeblogging

I read a lot of blogs. Pretty much every blog than I have ever read is better than this one. I often credit myself as a good writer, but trust me, if you were to see the piles and piles of word documents sitting on my computer at this moment, you would see the true me. The hardest part about trying to be a good writer, is actually letting someone else read the words you are writing (or, in this case, typing). Being a great writer is about letting go of your inner critic and just letting the words flow onto the page, then holding back the desire to push the backspace key (something I'm having a really hard time doing even as I type these words).

As a writer, you want people to see what you're honestly thinking, but at the same time, you don't want to people to think you are a complete idiot. I personally don't understand how some of these writers to do it. On top of all the blogs I read, I am a pretty well-read individual in the realm of books (it's hard to imagine someone actually picking up a bound copy of a book rather than reading a bunch of text on the screen...Amazon Kindle/iPhone anyone?). The more books I read, the more jealous I get of all these writers!!!

How do they do it? How does one overcome their inner critic and let the words flow? Its much easier for me to write well when I'm writing with the intention of never publishing that piece of writing, usually a journal entry of some sort. I hope my writing is being honest enough to pass along my slight sense of frustration. This is actually the third complete piece I have written in the past hour, and its most likely going to be the only one that gets published.

I titled this post "lifeblogging" because its a fitting description for what this blog is supposed to be. I want to keep writing about the world from my perspective. I want people to get a good idea of what goes on in my head on a day-to-day basis. I want people to see things how I see them.

This post is about informing you of a change in direction for this blog (or, more correctly, a re-focus on bringing this blog back to where it was supposed to be going in the first place). This is post is also a warning. Some of these posts may start coming at you in stream-of-consciousness style, because after analyzing some of my own writing, the best writing of mine happens when I just let the words flow straight from my head to my fingers on the keyboard, and not letting myself push the backspace key.

All of that said, take it with a grain of salt. Oh, and this little bit was added after proofreading the top and realizing that 99.9% of my grammar and punctuation was accurate. That never happens. Go me.

One Day at a Time

Life comes at you fast; too fast sometimes. I'm a part-time student with two jobs and a lot of other commitments that take up time in my day-to-day living. Someone with a schedule like mine cannot handle everything without planning in advance. It annoys my friends sometimes. I get obsessive about planning things. When plans change or get canceled, I freak out. Not very long ago, I used to be a person who did everything one day at a time. But nowadays, it seems like I am so caught up in determining the end result, that I neglect the steps it takes to get there.

I'll use my college education as an example. I have known what I've wanted to do with my career for a long time now (before I even stepped into college). I have not changed my major or anything. I know exactly where I want to be 5 years from now. But the problem is, I've neglected my education over the past year and half. I've watched as my grades and GPA plummeted and I nearly flunked out of college. Now I am working through the steps necessary to get my education back on track; but before, I was just too focused on the end goal and not the steps to takes to achieve that goal.

In the bible you hear a lot of stories about people who were goal-oriented but didn't seem to quite make it through the steps to get there. Then Jesus came around and He was always teaching the people about living the day-to-day, and letting tomorrow worry about itself.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:34 (New King James Version)

So what would happen if I spent more time worrying about each and every day instead of what was going to happen tomorrow? Its like I've become so focused on the path ahead, that I miss the roots and potholes that are stuck in the road along the way. I guess that's why they recommend that you start each day in prayer and meditation on the scripture. You ask God to give you the wisdom to make it through the day while still glorifying Him. Not an easy task. Especially when you are worried about what's going tomorrow, or that weekend, or a month down the road.

Its ok to have goals, I just need to remember that a goal is only the end of a series of steps leading up to it. Easier said than done.