22 Years

For the past 6 years on this day (September 22nd), I've always written a journal entry or blog post detailing some changes I made in the past year. Last year, I simply wrote an entry in my journal and never published it. I made a lot of personal changes that year that I felt that I needed to keep within myself.

Obviously, this year is a little different, as you are reading this on a blog (or on Facebook/email, whichever way you read this entry).

There are a few others things that usually happen on this day:

1) There is free food (on my part) involved. Someone always buys me lunch and/or dinner. Today was no different. Thanks Dan-o.
2) I usually get about 50-60 wall posts on Facebook from folks wishing me happy birthday. Seriously. I normally get text message notifications for status comments, wall posts, and messages on Facebook, but I disable this on my birthday for obvious reasons.

So there you have it. Two consistent activities that always occur on my birthday. This varies from year to year and, of course, there's always a few random unique things that happen every year, but so far today has been rather ordinary.

As of today, I am 22 years old. While to many people that age doesn't seem to be much of a milestone for anything, but it is for me. A) It's my "golden birthday" and B) I am one step closer to an age where I will be expected to be more responsible. This carries more weight for me then you might think.

So, without further ado, I present to you my thoughts for the year:

- Responsibility sneaks up on you.
Even when I had turned 21, I didn't quite get the fact that society was expecting me to be more responsible. At that time I was going into my junior year of college and I had pretty much determined that this was the last chance I had to be able to pick up my college career from the floor, but I had a hard time overcoming my stubbornness against accepting responsibility, and as a result, I once again had a spectacular failure for a semester. It hit me after that semester that it would be extremely difficult for me to get back into school and actually be able to graduate within 2-2.5 years. At that point, I realized that this was it. I was given one last chance.

- You never lose hope that you can't make the changes.
After the end of that semester, I had reached a point where I thought life as I knew it was over, and that I was going to end up like a lot of people nowadays: struggling to find a job and makes ends to meet. At the time I was also beginning to grow quite fond of the woman with whom I am currently in a relationship with, and she's extremely responsible and headstrong. It was great motivation to change. No one wants to be in a relationship with a deadbeat. With the right motivation, from her as well as from other people who are close to me, I pushed on ahead, and I managed to save my college career.

- If you want to be blessed with a Godly relationship, you must feel blessed with the single life.
By the time Becca and I had started to talk about a relationship, I had already been out of another one for a year. In between that time, I remember holding interests with and pursuing at least 3 or 4 different girls. Nothing ever came of it. There were many times where I would lie in bed wondering why I couldn't find someone who suitable for me (who actually returned my interest), then it hit me: if you feel like you need to be in a relationship, then you don't need to be in a relationship. When I got this picture, it made the next month of my life the most amazing month of my single life. Then I re-met Rebecca :)

- Its really hard for you to get anything out of your walk with God if you don't pursue it with everything you've got.
I figured that this was probably by design. God is relentless in His pursuit of our hearts; shouldn't we be relentless in our pursuit of His love as well?

- Love is not a noun, but an action.
If you look back at some of my earlier writing (especially from this summer), you can see where I was searching for answers about love. I was searching for a definition, or some meaning beyond what we normally hear. This summer, I got to see love through people that God brought into my life. I watched as they poured love into me and into others around them, and it was amazing to see. That's when I learned that Love is something we do. It's reflected in our actions just as much as what we say and write.

I realize that this post has been a deep and wordy one, but I really had to get this stuff out of my head. Its been cooking there for a few days now.

Oh, and one more thing, thanks to all of you who wished me a happy birthday. If you posted on my Facebook profile, you will get a response from me. I make it a point to reply to every single happy birthday wall post I receive (all 60-70 of them).

Till next time, Kyle